blast from the past

Coworker, to me: "Can you tell me if my ass hole is getting bigger?"

She was referring to a hole in her jeans. She never wore those jeans to work again.

February 29

"I'm just going to go behind the deli and meat is going to fall in my mouth."

February 28

Apparently dogs menstruate.

Coworker A: "I know someone who put a diaper on their dog because they didn't like blood and they didn't like taking their dog outside."

Coworker B: "That would be good for my girlfriend. My girlfriend's family, I mean, their dog. They have this incontinent dog."

blast from the past

Coworker: This goes in the box-muncher, right? [referring to the cardboard compactor]

February 27

Coworker: [referring to German salami] It looks like a ribbed dildo. Not one that I own. It looks tempting.

a bit later

Coworker: It's better than being stiffy. Stuffy! Stuffy. It's better than being stuffy.

February 26

Coworker: Is there supposed to be water in those balls? Your balls are going to dry out! [referring to the bocconcini someone had just put in a container for a customer]

later

Another coworker: There were a lot of hot Italians! *wink* [referring to hot Italian sausages]

February 22

Coworker A: "Would you tell me if I had a booger in my nose?"
Me: "Uh, I guess so."
Coworker A: "Do I have a booger in my nose?"
Me: "Nope, don't see anything."

A little later
Coworker B: "Your tapeworm is showing."

February 20

Coworker: "Oh, I don't have necrophilia."

I had just told her about the time my Dad fell asleep at a Rush concert.

February 19

I work in a busy deli where customers must take a number, and are then served in order by number. Most of my coworkers are female; I'm one of three men working in the deli. I was about to call the number for the next customer when a coworker patted my belly and said "my baby".