March 26

"Sausages! Ges of saus! Oh wait."

March 24

--You can get a student massage for $30.
--If I want students touching my body, I'll go to UBC on keg night.

March 20

[to customer buying sausages] Did you want a little stub action in your package?

March 19

"She gave me a piece of her steak and it was so good I almost orgasmed."

-------

-What's wrong with this mortadella? It's like it isn't binded together properly.
-I believe the word is bound.
-I'll bind you!

March 18

Today I was eating my lunch in the break room when a coworker came in, ripped a piece of paper towel off a roll on the table and wrote the following quotation, from another coworker, on it:

"So... we're low on small balls."

Not bocconcini, but balls.

March 17

Coworker: You rub that thing! Rub it! Rub it good!

_______

Coworker: I'm going to go home and light a fire in my fireplace. Have a romantic evening alone. Break out the new toys.

March 13

Customer: "Can I get a couple hundred grams of that ghetto white thing?" [pointing to the plain chicken]